so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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