Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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