the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
