Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
