We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
