butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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