Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
