R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
