$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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