your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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