just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
