I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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