he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize