So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
