I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
