I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
