Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
