wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
