I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
