i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize