this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
