I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
