she was so not down for the gang bang
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
