He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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