WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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