and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
