i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
