Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
