you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
