We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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