how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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