I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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