I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
