I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
