hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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