Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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