yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
