420 ftw
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
