She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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