Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
