chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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