Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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