I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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