He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
