I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
