This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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