Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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