do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
