Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
