I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
4 words: hood of his car
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
