He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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