So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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