Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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