we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
