If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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