I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
operation have a gay friend backfired
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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