just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
