it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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