Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We need to get me chipped asap
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
